In no way am I attractive right now 🙈😂
So here I am……back in the hospital again and a lot sooner than I anticipated! It’s been 6 months since I had extensive surgery for endometriosis and now I am back for some more!
Back in May, I went to see my consultant to get a review of the surgery she did. She showed me lots of pictures and informed me that she had to do a lot of work due to the severity of my endometriosis…..I was some what shocked as didn’t realise it had gotten this bad and couldn’t believe that I managed to plough along through life for 6 years since my last surgery without surcoming sooner to the evilness of endo (mainly due to my stubborn nature and thinking I was superwoman!!!).
My appointment consisted of me telling her how life had been shit since the surgery, that I was a complete hormonal psychotic mess. I had a post surgery infection which went undetected and she prescribed me with my second course of antibiotics as the first one didn’t hit the sides!!
I was a little bit upset that this rotten disease has really had a field day with my insides and just bloody wish it would go away!!
The consultant went on to tell me that biopsies and several tests were done which all came back positive for precancerous cells……telling me if they aren’t removed I would more than likely develop cancer in 5 years……at that moment it felt like someone had kicked me in the gut but going into my practical mode, I saw myself as one of the lucky ones that it has been found and can be treated……prevention is by far better than cure! Genetically I know I am predisposed to a higher risk of developing cancer as my mother died from non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.
So she told me I would need to get these cells burnt out…..normally done under local anaesthetic but as I’ve recently had a lot of surgery she feels best to put me under general anaesthetic and also this will allow her to go for a further investigation of me internally.
The thing that gives me the most anxiety is the bloody general anaesthetic…..I get so freaked out when on the theatre table, lying flat while numerous health professionals buzz around, the anaesathist shoving a canula into the back of my hand and syringing the cold stuff into my veins…..at the same time a nurse firmly holding an oxygen mask tight to my face! It’s the complete lack of control and confined nature of it all that stresses me out!
I never recover well post general anaesthetic and find it can take me 6 weeks to fully recover……biggest thing I suffer from it is “foggy brain”…..my short term memory disappears for sometime and I can’t retain the simplist of information!
I hope this is the last time I find myself lying on a theatre table for a very long time as my body is tired, sore and sick of being poked, prodded, scrapped, laser burnt and generally violated!!!
I have a week off to recover and learned my lessons from the last time……I won’t be pushing myself too fast and will take my time to recover!
So here’s to a week of complete relaxation…..full on “switch off” mode and focusing on me…..time to be a little selfish to make sure I come bouncing back full of Jen spirit!